Interesting...seeking joy

I'm glad you liked Goodnight Bush :) It scared you? It made me laugh! Did you notice that it is autographed? And, to add to its value, it was the very last copy available at the DNC (possibly anywhere!)

Secret: There is another package on its way....hehe

I'm glad I could have been there to talk to you (all night long) and just listen...anytime you need me, I'm here.

I'm wondering what does a woman's mid-life crisis look like? I don't want a sports car or some young woman (ok, that could work LOL) So, what do other women do when they feel this way...meaning questioning where am I in my life at this point? Who am I now? What happened to all that passion I used to have? Where am I going? What does the 2nd half of life look like?

I kinda fell apart yesterday...I needed to feel something different. So I reverted to some past behaviors...I bought a bottle of wine and a pack of smokes. It felt freeing to do something that I felt like doing without anyone else's judgment. Now I have to judge that behavior...good? bad? indifferent? In this moment I choose the latter. That's not to say that I plan to return to these things daily again. Just that it DID make me FEEL something. It gave me a sense of having a choice. I guess I have been feeling like I have had little control over my life of late. Of course that isn't the truth, we are all always in control of everything we choose to do, feel, act...but that doesn't change how I FELT.

Thank you to my dear friend who listened to me vent and who didn't judge me in any way. I love you.

I received 2 very interesting emails...from people in the far past. Odd how they arrived at the same time. One from a childhood friend and one a past lover. Interesting...

Overall, life is quite interesting...I would prefer some more joy in this moment but I have faith that it is near. Patience. (Not one of my fortes!)