You don't know it yet...

But you're not the one. The One would make me feel light, bright, lifted and alive. Not scared and nervous.
I won't call today even tho I promised and I won't be picking up your calls - the ones you said you wouldn't make. You will think there is one more "ugly" person on this planet. I'm sorry for that. Maybe you will remember the hope that you felt and get your act together so that the next woman won't be scared too.

Possibly I am missing out on something truly real and special - but my gut/my instincts tell me otherwise. I choose to trust these more and more these days. I put myself out there, took a chance and now have to look back on how I feel - and move forward - one moment at a time.

Lesson learned: listen to my teenager - I could learn a lot from him.

I feel better already...a weight has been lifted...sad but true, this weighed on me heavily.