2 days and I am already stressed...run?

"It's not about the money." "It's all about the love."
So you say you love me. Really? Do you know me? Is love at first sight "real" love?
Are you good for me? Will you help me to grow? Or ?
Money: a peculiar concept...but I like having it around. Manicures, gambling, travel, spoiling my kids, fine dining, all give me joy. I choose to not stress over it, but it is quite nice to know that the bills can all be paid and that there is some left over for fun (and security). Can you live on love alone? I don't think I can.
Are you testing me? If so, shame on you, I deserve to be trusted unless I prove otherwise.
Are you using me? If so, take a hike. Losers and users are of no use to me or my children.
A cocktail, a smoke and the moon...lovely. But there IS more. I WANT more.
I've been down and out in all meanings of that phrase. I choose to live as far away from that place for the remainder of my life. "The Point of No Return" was interesting and it has taught me much. I am a different person now - and I like who I am.
I take care of myself for me AND for those that I love - I owe myself and them that, I owe all of us my well being - physically, emotionally and spiritually. I like to offer them love and stability, excitement and encouragement, trust and respect, honesty and compassion. Will you do that for me?
Do you want what I want? Do you have any ambitions, dreams, or plans? Living in the moment is how we get through each day. Looking to the future is how we grow.
If the only options were a shack full of love or a mansion with none, I wasn't lying - I'd choose the former. The good news is that there are MANY other options and I don't have to opt for the shack. I have worked hard. I love my home. I will not risk all that I have - I don't have to. My children deserve to reap the benefits of my efforts - as do I.
I want a partner who will contribute on all levels...some I will be better at, some you will be better at. But, we should both be working towards the same goals. Walking similar paths (not necessarily the same).
I will not become the useless drunk I was in years gone by. I will not be taken advantage of in any manner - these are lessons I have learned (see below for some details). I will love with all my heart and spirit and I will support my loved ones in all aspects of life but my children are the only ones who receive financial support from me (for now). Someday they will become self-sufficient adults as I am teaching them the importance of this earthly reality.
You see I have fears (agreed that this is the opposite of love)...and they are making me uncomfortable. I don't know you yet. I am nervous...and without some real answers, not just philosophical ones, I will move on.