53 before 53

Inspired by my AMAZING daughter who posted her 22 things to do before she turns 22, I wanted to see where my true desires lie. My 52nd birthday is in less than a week so I am going for one year + a week :) Here goes!

1. Become financially independent again.
2. Find what it is that will earn me an abundant living and be FUN - and DO IT!
3. Find romance, love and a partner in this beautiful and interesting life.
4. Travel again - anywhere is cool, but Greece would be awesome.
5. Get to my ideal weight.
6. Play in a major poker tournament again - bonus if I cash!
7. Get my ass out of the house at least once a week socially.
8. Make at least 5 new close friends.
9. Begin and stick with an exercise program.
10. Go to a museum in Denver.
11. Go to the Denver Zoo.
12. Become a healer that is paid for my services - this very well may be the same as #2.
13. Read 12+ books.
14. Start a savings account.
15. Host a beautiful party or two.
16. Make my father proud of me.
17. Eat only truly healthy foods (already mostly there...)
18. Try something that I have never done - maybe even something that is somewhat scary.
19. Improve my vocabulary so that I can keep up with my daughter :)
20. Visit my daughter at her 1st non-college home.
21. Watch my son grasp the benefits of education with zest.
22. Have an lovely family holiday together.
23. Feel truly spiritual and connected.
24. Learn how to cook (or non-cook, as in raw) a bunch of new recipes.
25. Get my yard/garden in order as I dream of having it.

wow...not even half way done...

26. Sell at least 10 homes.
27. Take a romantic vacation.
28. Go camping (yes, #27 could be the same as #28).
29. Volunteer for a cause/event I believe in.
30. Do regular RAKs (random acts of kindness) - I got out of this habit...
31. Visit Chicago and see if any broken bridges can be mended.
32. Feel 100% comfortable in my own skin.
33. Use my skills at word-smithery (is that even a word? lol) for good - blogging, writing a book or ?
34. Play more games - as a social event - and become a better chess player.
35. Remember to dream daily, quit whining and always stay positive.
36. Do something that truly makes a difference for our planet.
37. Never stop telling my loved ones how I feel.
38. Get out of my head more and take life as it comes without over analyzing.
39. Be grateful each and every day.
40. Go to a symphony concert again.
41. See a couple of plays.
42. Hear some awesome oldies music at Red Rocks.
43. DANCE.
44. Find a few new restaurants to try (let's say 6+).
45. Get my original birth certificate - avail. as of 11/2011
46. Attempt to find my siblings and maybe birth parents.
47. Take a road trip (never been something I really enjoyed but I think it is time to give it another chance).
48. Begin painting and/or photography (or a new creative medium) again and stick to it.
49. Put myself "out there" (I know what I mean here...)
50. Connect with my old friends on a regular basis - don't let so much time pass.
51. Live a non-judgmental life.
52. Try a new hobby.

and...last but not least, for myself and my children,

53. Quit smoking - ok, I agree to try again...and hope to succeed but can't make any promises.

Thanks Morgan! What a great thing to do each and every year! In the past I wrote about what I had learned in the preceding year...now I look to the future! <3

Today I:

Talked to my loving and brilliant daughter for hours - such joy!
Meditated and did some "body love" work - ahhhh
Let my amazing son know how much I love him even as he is growing away to become the independent person he needs to be.
Relaxed and set my mind for a productive day and week ahead.
Spoke to my father who sounded as if he enjoyed speaking to me - thank you.
Heard utter joy in my friend's voice as she told me of her new vehicle - awesome how things always do work out!

Loved and felt loved.

About Me...

I am one with all.
I am a healer.
I am a watcher.
I am abundant.
I am full of joy.
I am balanced.
I am magickal.
I am an artist.
I live in the now.
My home is the earth.
My playground is the Universe.
I am grateful for everything.

I am a teacher.
I am a student.

I am a teacher and a student - of life, love, abundance and joy.

Family and friends surround me and regularly interact with me raising me to even higher vibrational levels of love each and every day. Healing comes from my heart and the Universe and I am extremely grateful for this gift - in fact, I live my life in complete gratitude - as I have said before, life is either joyful or interesting ("interesting" is simply the opportunity to learn).

I seek health for all beings and work daily to bring this about. Mother Earth aides me along with my Guides. Recognizing that we are all one allows me to remain a positive influence for myself and others.

So...this is a beginning...I am evolving.

Hugs to my new "reader" :)

I branched out and gave this url to an old friend...felt odd, but it's all good. Made me look back and read some of my older posts tho - WOW, been a real roller coaster ride so it seems!

I should be painting but just can't seem to get motivated. My bedroom is in the middle of an overhaul/remodel and I am totally psyched to have the finished product. Changin up my style - it's a new day and a new life right? Making all the southwestern shit of my past life decrease (I still do love some of it, but there is just way too much). Going all feng shui in my room - we'll see if it draws the romance it is designed to (a friend - do you still read this? - told me that men are ready long before they get to the bedroom! LOL Thing is I'm not looking for sex. Note: I said ROMANCE!) After my room is done, then I will be on to many others...one of the many things I plan to do this winter while work is somewhat slower than the rest of the year.

Time to get my ass back to the gym - lesson I can't seem to stick with...

Looking forward to the holidays with the kidlings! I think I done really good on gifts this year - especially for my girl :) S got everything from his wish list and then a couple of bonus items so that he knows I'm thinking of him and who he is - a very special person imho, but one that is HARD to shop for! :) Speaking of gifts, the doorbell just rang and I got yet another shipment of gifts - wooo hoo! I'm telling you that shopping online is THE BEST and ONLY way to go! Lesson learned!

Ok, going to paint - for real!

Dreams CAN come true! Yea, Cabo Baby!

Sending out the vibration!

I've been told my a very trusted source (I love ya' Christopher!) that I should be working toward making my healing/Reiki gift a profitable venture. So, that's what I am doing - sending out the information through cyberspace and via word of mouth.

Having faith that the Universe shall always provide needs to be coupled with the "leg work" (learned this lesson before). It seems that simply setting up my Reiki table isn't enough - I welcome any and all suggestions and/or advice.

Challenges with work (Real Estate) are always interesting - especially when the other side of the deal is AMAZED that I just keep positive :) If it is meant to work out, and with my deals it usually is, then it will. Plain and simple. Why fret about it?

Heading off to Cabo in little over a week - sailing on a pirate ship, riding ATVs on the beach and, a personal dream come true, riding a horse on the beach...pure joy!

Love to all!

I find that all I keep saying is "Life is Good!"

And it is! Actually it is amazing! Every day is a new adventure, a new opportunity to learn, love and experience, a new beginning. I'm loving it!

What I have learned is:

Live in the moment - it really is the only place to be!
Be me - whoever that is and whatever that looks like
Be grateful for EVERYTHING - it all has a purpose (yep, even the ugly stuff)
Express joy and love to everyone and everything - it does come back at ya and it feels great!
"Don't sweat the small stuff - and it is ALL small stuff" is more truth than most understand.
Take time to be quiet and still regularly - it is SO worth it!
Love yourself unconditionally
Fear is STILL the opposite of Love (reminder to self)
Boundaries are necessary and valuable to have
Always think outside the box - there is cool stuff out there!

Love and light to all!

Chicago has changed...

The whirlwind trip to my hometown stomping grounds is behind me. Reconnecting with the most amazing friends and some wonderful family members made, what could have been a really difficult time, enjoyable - even under the sad and stressful circumstances of my mother's death and all that that bought about. More later, I've about spent my wad on emotions concerning this event and thoughts revolving around her.

joyeux anniversaire stacey!

Yes, it's my birthday and I thought what more fitting a day to post a little sumtin, sumtin on my neglected blog.

I am incommunicado today (except for my adorable son here at home with me and my sweet daughter dear in the UK who I skyped with earlier). No phone calls are being accepted, no emails replied to...just me at home doing what I want, when I want with no one to interfere. I'm loving it.

Some thoughts on previous birthdays:

It's never much fun when you have to "share" a celebration.
Most people really don't know you very well and that is even more obvious on birthdays.
I love surprises, but to date not very many have ever truly been a surprise.
When you go out with people to celebrate your day, they still want to do what they want to do most of the time.
NONE of my husbands ever had a clue.
It sucks when your father always chooses your birthday to travel. (And I mean always!)
Childhood memories of this day involve really stupid theme parties and being forced to dress up as a cowgirl or some other such nonsense.
My children make me smile almost every day - my birthday is no exception :)

So...now perhaps you see why I am holed up at home just being me on my day.

A dear friend posed the question to me the other night asking if I was sure that 9/13 is my true birthday. Hmmm, now that got me wondering. As an adoptee I know little of my birth. I was picked up at (I believe) 2 weeks old from some nurse's home in Evergreen Park, IL. Given this knowledge, I can only assume that my birthday is at the very least CLOSE to 9/13 but since my birth certificate has my adopted parents' names on it, it clearly isn't the original and its accuracy is anyone's guess. So goes the life of a black market baby...

Out of sheer curiosity (and spurred by my last comment) I looked up inflation rates and found at The Inflation Calculator the amusing fact that "What cost $10,000 in 1958 would cost $73,657.59 in 2008." Wow! That still sounds pretty damn cheap and a hella deal for something/one as valuable as moi!

So, in the vein of this blog I suppose I should muse on what lessons I have learned this past year. (In no particular order.)

Children DO grow up and become your friends - yet always remain your children (interesting how that works). I've also learned how to really appreciate my children for who they are. And I have learned that my life would be very lonely without them - they are definitely my sun and moon (new tat in the design stages).
Enjoying being alone is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself. And I am enjoying today big time. I've also learned that "being alone" doesn't mean having to talk on the phone to someone...being alone means just that, all by yourself - and it is a wonderful thing if you embrace it.
Vegan (and raw) foods really are better for your health and wellbeing (and taste amazing to boot). Purely Decadent Dairy Free Mocha Almond Fudge is my b'day dessert today and I am a happy camper (thanks SO much sweet boy for getting me a nice, overly indulgent supply!)
You can outgrow so many things, from clothes to lifestyles to people. And it is all good. Just go with the flow. If you don't like it today, you probably will soon.
Money...I've learned how to live with less yet still live with all I need. I've learned that it is ok to fall as long as YOU pick yourself back up. I've learned that I will always have a "rich kid" mentality and I think that serves me well. I've learned that it really is FUN to buy things (especially big ticket items) with cash. I've learned why little old ladies like to keep their cash under their mattress and I learned a new use for my gun safe. I've learned that if you surround yourself with people who are in a state of "poverty consciousness", you will likely end up broke (this little gem came from the Urban Mystic on SoulGarden.tv and applies to many other aspects of life as well).
Work: I LOVE MY CAREER! I've learned, to the depths of my being, that in this moment, real estate is exactly what I should and want to be doing. I love what I do, I love my clients (and it appears that they love me back <3), I love the paydays when they come...I love it all!
I've learned that my house isn't as important to me as I thought. I love it dearly but have learned that, as with everything, it is but a phase in my life. Some day I will most likely have a different home and that one will mean just as much to me I expect.
Spiritual "retreats" and meditation improves me and my life - I need to do more of this!
I've learned that if you don't set up expectations, you won't be disappointed. (Another reason why I am choosing to be alone today - I know I won't disappoint myself! Sometimes setting up no expectations means not putting yourself in a social situation.)
I've learned that I really do want to spend more time outside - walking, camping...or?
I've learned to avoid drama at all costs - it makes one a much more joyful person to do so.
I've learned how to avoid getting angry 99.99% of the time. What freedom this brings!
I've relearned that I am a healer - and a damn good one! Also that this gift is something I cherish and am honored to be.

I do believe that I have learned how to be happy and a whole lot about who I really am - think it took me long enough?

What was I thinking????

I'm so happy to finally have summer here - it took awhile this year! Then, silly me, sits here this morning and thinks to myself "Wouldn't it be nice if today was one of the snowy winter days where I could stay in all day - my, how much I could get done!" Pffft! I successfully slapped myself into reality - LIVE IN THE MOMENT! Ok, so I have a ton of yard work to get to, my office is a disaster, I have an open house to hold, paperwork that HAS to get done soon, a job to find and the house could use a good ole' fashioned "spring" cleaning...baby steps Stacey, baby steps. Lesson being relearned.

Sobriety definitely is the space I want to live in. Lesson remembered.

That's all I have for today - and it is all good.